Farewells

Two farewells this week. Those who can accept it won't bother so much and see it just like an everyday's food while those who can't completely accept will often become cynical about it.

I know I'm the latter. It could be parting with loved ones because of death, or breaking up, or being left because they choose better options to their lives (switching jobs, moving to different cities, ..).

I know it has something to do with my ability to let go things easily. Am hoping I'm not this kind of person ... because true love means wishing them happiest life they can achieve, with no boundaries, even when it means they have to exclude you from their lives.

I have to be a good person.

Paths

The paths we're choosing in life, in my opinion, are much the same as navigating in a jungle. We're equipped with a compass, a map, and self-intuition. The compass is what other people may suggest what direction we should take, while the map is our plans and strategies, but after all self-intuition is the one that really counts - our gut, consideration, our sense to choose how and what paths to take to reach the destination.

Since sanity is not statistical, majority is not always right. Most of us perhaps are still in the opposite path on believing earth is not round and it doesn't revolve around the sun if not because of Aristotle and friends. Many people laughed at Thomas Alva Edison when he kept questioning things, yet, a child that was once believed dull introduced us to electric light. Those who had been skeptical to the intelligence of Einstein never really expected how much actually he has contributed to our lives nowadays. Compass can be spoilt or lost also.

With some touch to nature surroundings, it can either weaken or strengthen the will to make itu out. The more steps we make sometimes does not get us closer to where we're going to, then find ourselves still stumbling around the jungle - after all the fall ups and downs. But having a good laugh at it, counting how many times we've risen up one more time, and never losing hope, instead of following people to their destinations, we know we're still making our own, so it's okay. With all the guts, we keep going.

Perhaps, recently I can say I've gottan my compass though I don't know whether it's still working or not. Some say yes, some say no. Somewhat, I know I've three options : turn left, turn right, or go straight? Turning back after execution making will be time consuming and for every decision I make there will be some gains and loss - hence all need to be weighed wisely.

In confusing time, my friend told me in the best loveliest way : "Life is an option, general!"

It somehow has lighten me up, and hides up my fear of making mistakes. Because? Because a general should be brave!

How Will I React?

Yesterday I just saw a video about a thief managed to steal two cellphones and one wallet from a boarding house around my college area. I'd rather lose money than get myself hurt in anticipation to attacks from the thief provided he gets caught stealing. So I think the victim is still lucky after all.

The worse case of course can happen. Imagining the scenario is : I come from the toilet and head to my bedroom, open the door and see a stranger is inside, he turned his head and eyes staring at me, within milliseconds I know he's a bad guy. Then?

(Considering I'm not fainted yet on the spot) I will probably :

1. Running away as fast as I can and scream as loud as my frequency of voice is able to reach.
I think this is the highest possibility of action I will take unconsciously. Both attacks and defense are performed. It can wake people up and get ready to corner the thief and at the same time relying on my running speed, hopefully I can escape from danger.

2. Get inside the nearest room I can find and lock it. Be it my friend's room (lower chance, as many of them lock the door and it takes time to knock and wait for response - also it will risk another creature's safety), bathroom - toilet (agree more). Still, trapped myself inside a room only shows defense that can easily be torn down. Let's say he's a big guy, he can break in the door using 70% of his body's power. He may hold a knife (which I'll never know because I won't get near him and/try to know whether he has that knife or not) and pierce the door like those killers in the scary movies and all I can do is crying and screaming like hell inside the toilet.

3, Be cooperative with him and make him understand that I actually understand him. Saying "please take everything you need, and leave slowly, but don't hurt me" calmly may help. Reverse psychology, he won't buy it, instead he will run away in a wink. Lucky if he doesn't hurt anyone.

4. Lock him inside my room. I was actually surprised of this idea that came from my friend. But it sounds logical. If the room is big enough and the thief is far away from the door while the key is still in the key hole, it'd be much faster to just get the key and lock him inside. There will be enough time to be ready for counterattack : calling for help, policemen, or perhaps provide more and sharper knifes.

Sometimes in a very difficult situation, someone can be totally changed to a different person. Logic somehow can be deceived. There are a lot of things that can occur during seconds, minutes. If you ever give yourself time to think of what to do and try to be a smart logician, I believe you can suffer and lose much more than those who just follow the instincts, sense the danger and just escape. I hope I will have them and not to react the otherwise though I wish I won't encounter such cases.

My Bags

Not only people that can come and go into your life. Bags do as well.

They have come from different sources. The black ones on the left and on the right I stole from my shop in Merauke, on the top is brown bag I bought from Jakarta (which had accompanied me at least 2yrs during college - even first periods of working), the orange and the brown below it are from same brand 'Mel' (which I believed it's one my favourite brands of bags) yet bought them at different time and places and they're both torn already on the back which then I realized the quality of 'Mel' actually is not really good, while the smallest brown one on the right side I have never used before - I got it from another freecycler that donated three bags of his wife's to me some time back but I found it's too small to even put my wallet inside.

As I know I'm not likely to use them anymore, I'm going to donate it to Salvation Army. It's never easy to let go things I once loved but guess there's at least little happiness knowing it can be re-used better by other parties.

Bags are still growing though...

... from Singapore, Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, and other places which I'm not really sure because again, two of them I got from the freecyclers I mentioned above.

Many is never many and much is not that much when you love something. I've known I love bags ever and after.

If You Start to Feel Old

... try to pick up always cute things, especially around places radiating depressed elements.

Wake Up Late but ...

Today I break the record for latest waking up and shortest getting-myself-ready time during the period of 2 years and 3 months of working.

I finally woke up at 7.55 after I turned off my alarm at 7.25 and continued on sleeping. I was too panicky so there was no drama mama, 'feeling not well', 'oh.. I still want to sleep few more minutes', or.. whatever! I didn't spare any time to think of anything, instead, I rushed out to the kitchen for my quick breakfast after accidentally uttering some necessary 'shi*ty' words. Picking up any random clothes and went for a bath, I got myself ready to go out at 8.10. Lift was bit slow (indeed so slow in the tight time) and took some precious minutes of mine, half running to the bus stop, I saw the bus coming just exactly when I arrived there. To cut the story short, everything went smooth afterwards. It's not crowded in the bus unlike other usual mornings and not many people alighted at the bus stops. The traffic light was quite friendly as well as it turned into green when I was about to cross the road so I didn't need to wait for any longer.

Walking so fast to my desk, I turned on the pc and looked at the time, it's only 8.35! I've beaten up myself that wakes up at 7.25 but arrives office 15-20 minutes late. *so proud*

Sun Salutation

I can now completely accept the reason I got my leg sprained. I was actually aiming for all of these highly respected benefits. (:p)

Faith

I learnt how people usually use 'faith' when they don't give any reasons for their beliefs. That's why it's called 'faith'. It doesn't rest on logical proofs. If you insist on finding one, it's no longer called 'faith'.

I wish I had one.

I can't believe in the theory of God that doesn't make any sense. I can't believe that light and darkness existed before sun and moon. I don't believe in the compassion of Buddha if there is full of hatred, revenge from the words and teachings nor do I believe in the good of a religion that teaches us to love one another but at the same time does not mind to kill a lot of people and uses 'sacrifice for greater things' as an excuse.

There could be misinterpretation after hundreds thousands of years and somehow has made a great loss in the sense of originality. But with all questions unanswered, 'faith' came out. They say there are a lot of things we don't know because it's beyond our knowledge and we are small creatures who are not supposed to question the greatness of God. It's all because people have 'faith'.

While there is a saying 'when there is much love between two persons, it should work, right?!', can you say there's a lot of love seeing everyday's of their quarrels or fights? Can you say you have faith on a person that he is your mr. right if keeps doing the wrong things? Can you have faith that he is lovely if you see lots of unloving kind of attitude?

People might stand on convenience though, hold back because it's already comfortable, a wide access to society, and/or too ignorant to change.

When people say you have to understand your partner, there are several times you can say what you don't like. But there will be times when you realize it can't be fulfilled. That's where you try to accept him as who he is instead of who you can turn him into. Take it or leave it.

If the definition of 'faith' remains still, I think I'll never have it.

Silk Air

Silk Air absolutely has the smartest user interface in its website compared with all other air flights I've ever seen so far as it had made me dumb within seconds. The booking facility allows user to stay at the same page while browsing through the availability of different departure and arrival dates as well as the fares in one look. From technical point of view, they must have applied partial post back (for instance : ajax) so that the user won't see part of the page is actually refreshed. I have seen a lot of websites using the same technology. Yet, this is the first time I was so amazed that it comes from an airflight website with the fact lots of its friends had given me hard time to go back and forth different page only to get one fulfilling your satisfaction. You don't need to open so many pages only to compare prices on different dates or allocate some memory in your brain trying to memorize numbers - figures you've just seen. Silk Air saves up a lot of time indeed and reduces our effort and frustation and with this approach, it shows to the world that online booking is so much fun and fast. I really envy!

My Childhood Best Buddy

Provided you have a big family like me, usually you will have a childhood buddy who's also considered your close relative under same generation whose age not different much with yours. Because of that, parents are really happy to make the two children go to the same school, the best if they can end up being in the same class. Parents say, 'can look after one another'.

So I have one cousin. He's actually five months younger than me. I had a love-hate relationship with him long long time ago.

Since Primary School till Senior High School we'd gone to the same school. His mother used to ask me how he was doing at school, or whether we got homework or exams or not on the next days. There were periods I felt like a babysitter to someone whose body twice than me. Somehow, his mother didn't really trust him for he's actually rather naughty and lazy. Very often also, he made me waited for him after classes ended in a car for more than half an hour in hunger while he was playing with his friends. I wished I didn't have such a responsibility. It was hard to accept that I was asked the same questions over and over even when I thought we'd grown up and could take care of our ownselves well enough. There was such kind of happiness when I knew we're finally apart. We went to different colleges.

Looking at another point, he and I had shared a lot of things. We played games, from the most ancient (hide and seek, dragon ball's cards, rubber jump, etc etc) to modern ones (computer games, badminton - he one time accidentally smashed me on my head till I cried and did not want to speak with him for days, table tennis, etc etc). We had common friends. My friends are his and his friends are mine. We're like one. Whenever I went to a birthday party without him, I'll be asked, 'Where is he?' or on the pre-exams periods, we all used to stay at school till evening and my driver brought us the same lunch box set meal, gave it to the school's security guard and he would immediately know it was meant to both of us.

I guess I just miss him. I dreamt about us last night. In the dream, we're rushing to an exam place. However I was late to get in to the car because I took a too long bath. Furthermore, I hadn't studied at all and I didn't have a confidence for the test. On the way, I suggested that we both pretended to get sick and to attend another test scheduled another time for those who are not able to make it. With that I will have enough time to prepare myself. However my dream was kinda mixed with my current place, Singapore. All I thought was going to what doctor, Redhill branch? Tiong Bahru branch? Bugis? And many more.. and I don't remember anymore where we're situated actually.

It's been ages and I feel kinda old every time I remember those moments. Perhaps along with the maturity itself, I now look at it as one of the best things ever happened in my life. Funny but it's so true. My younger sister had one as well and I once pitied him that she could end up like me. In fact her best buddy turns out to be the loveliest cousin I ever had.

A Strong Weakness

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In My Very Next Life

I wish I could be a doctor to help other people to cure their uneasiness towards illnesses, reducing their sufferings, and bringing back smiles and joy to their lives.

Second option. I wish I'd be born with some music or art talents : singing, composing song, playing music instrumental, painting, designing. I wish I could do all my jobs with so much passion that I can forget to eat.

Third option. Teacher. A good and inspiring teacher. I wish I could teach kids, teenagers a lot of things, not only lessons in school but how to become a man.

Those are some dreams for my next life lol. All I can do now is doing lots of good good things so that my karma is much enough to be born as a human first. And I do hope to be a Buddhist again.

Re-Instrospect

3D2N trip was over. It's actually short but felt so long.

If I was usually wondering why I got sick, why my leg could be suddenly swollen in a night or the gum that all the while was okay caused me such a great pain, looking at this sickness, I'm aware the blame should be put all on my own shoulder. I'd thought that I could handle my own schedule. In fact my body couldn't take it. I was hoping that I could make the max to the short days trip by booking earliest - latest flight going and back respectively which then I found that belief is truly truly wrong.

Experience is indeed the best teacher of all but you don't need to experience it first in order to learn. Learn from mine...

Mistake number one : Wrong choices of flight's schedule.

July 2, 2010 : Mandala Airlines SG - Jkt (06.30 - 07.05 AM)

Mandala Airlines Jkt - Semarang (09.40 - 10.30 AM)

July 4, 2010 : Lion Air Semarang - Jkt (08.15 - 09.15 AM)

Jetstar Jakarta - SG (21.40 - 00.25 AM)

So on the first day I woke up at 4 AM, prepared myself, and got on taxi at 4.30 AM. Not only I didn't have enough sleep, neither did I have a proper breakfast filling up my tummy in the cold morning. The third day was not much different as I actually woke up at 5.45 but slept much later than the first. Then........... see the Jetstar schedule. I took the latest flight and arrived in the midnight (but that, was not yet the issue..discussed later.).

Mistake number two : Coming alone, being the first to arrive, but not fully prepared.

I came and stayed in a friend's house without bringing my own basic necessities, such as shampoo, soap, and etc etc, living on my own assumption for sure every house will have all of them. But the story is, the house we're staying is the not one my friend's staying. It's been long time left. I managed to buy everything but forgot the most important thing, A BLANKET! You're certainly are not able to bring everything but things you think are important have to be there. If you are not sure, ask! For my case, well, I should have asked her before. I didn't sleep well in two days because it's too cold (I think I only slept 3 hours). There are some problems with the aircon. We couldn't turn it off as well as once we did so, it's high chance we couldn't turn it on again.

Mistake number three : Remember to bring vitamin c in anticipation to over-tiredness but forget to take it on the day.

In short, I brought it for nothing but only for display and adding some grams to my luggage (while actually my flight only allowed me to bring up to 7kgs.).

Mistake number four : Believe in Panadol to cure your fever.

Although I'd been feeling unwell since the previous day, my fever suddenly came at 12 PM on the last day when I was about to have lunch with my friends. The effect of medicine I know can differ to each persons, but surely Panadol was not the one for me. I won't recommend it to anyone. Besides, it was believed it can actually affect a lot of other parts of your body.

Mistake number five : Trusting your time, money, effort, and life to Jetstar.

Blinded by the price that's only cheaper 10-20 SGD than another budget airline, I chose Jetstar although it has made me disappointed two times in my life. Since I wanted my time in Jakarta to be longer, I took a 21.40 flight and was supposed to arrive Singapore at 00.25 AM. But it did another delay for 2 hours. It's not really something for a healthy person but not for me that was having a fever. I arrived at 2.30 AM and all I wanted to see was my bed.
Special note : If you in the future still insist on/are influenced to choose Jetstar again, you should be prepared to have few hours delay hence those arriving at night time are not advisable. As for me difference less than $100 SGD to another flight won't make me to choose it anymore. Enough is enough, no gambling anymore.

If you're thinking of saving up some money, actually you're not.

Prices I paid :
- Extra 50% of taxi fares back and forth since both were taken between 12 and 5 AM.
- Those nice foods in Jakarta were wasted because 'nice' is too relative. I didn't have any appetites.
- Wandering around with fever more than ten hours only pocketed with (seemed-to-be-useless) Panadol. My state would be more pathetic if I didn't have friends around. Luckily, I did ^_^.
- Few days of MC, few days of feeling guilty in the sense of irresponsibility.
- Adding extra chemicals in my body. It's terrible. During two months, I feel I've been taking up too many medicines which is really not good.

Calculation wise, it's a great loss. Somehow I can easily forgive myself as I know I learnt the lessons, while from the brighter side, I think my survival skill is up by one level.

Till Death Set You Apart

After the wedding church ceremony, the bride and the groom went outside the church, given a couple of pigeons to set released. Both flied off somewhere but within seconds, one perches at the church open window while another one at power cable few metres away. Some people tried to make them fly far away but all their efforts only succeeded in making the one at the cable flied over to its companion. Since then the people tried to chase away the pigeons from the window many many times but they stood firm as if they're so scared of losing one another. In such wedding occasion, it's kinda sweet.

I always love a happy truth. That's one captured my heart ^_^.

Real and Unreal

"Did you send me message last night? I'm sorry I don't remember whether you really did it or it's just inside my dream since I had such a deep sleep last night."

My friend would wake up in confusion to get this kind of message 4.30 in the morning.